Coffee Incident
by ToTheMoonIvan
Summary: Bruce wants to go out for coffee, something Tony doesn't usually do and for good reason. Not really fluff. Sorry about crappy summary and ending.


It was just coffee. A bean and water based beverage that Tony Stark had enjoyed on many occasion, whether in his gold and red mug in the lab or a paper cup from Starbucks. Next to Thor, Tony was the highest coffee consumer in the Avengers Tower.

But being able to recite the drinks molecular make up at certain points during its creation did not change the fact that coffee was suddenly made into something more than coffee when Bruce suggested they go out for it, which was something Tony simply did not do. If the Ironman wished for coffee, he either had someone make it, made it himself or made the lovely Ms. Potts go out and get it for him from some café that over charged for the generally unhealthy stuff.

Going out for coffee simply was not an option.

Until Bruce Banner made it one.

"We've been cooped up in this lab for the past two days, Tony." Bruce paced behind the hunched over figure at their shared work desk, listening to the clacks of a well-used keyboard. "I want to go out."

"Going out is for normal people. If you want something, I'll have Pepper go get it." Tony glanced back at the doctor who gave him a sort of a sad look, "Well… if we _were _to go out, what did you have in mind for us to do?"

Bruce shrugged, "I don't know. Let's go get coffee. It'll be fun."

Tony raised a dark brow, "How would getting coffee be fun?"

"Well, we could walk there. That would be fun. And when we get there, we could talk? It would be nice to have a conversation with you without being interrupted by some God-related kitchen disaster or a computer in one or both of our faces."

"Walking? Talking? How pedestrian." Tony spun his chair around to face Bruce with a smirk, "But fine. I will do it for you." Tony sighed and followed the other in the retrieval of their coats. He tried to twist his face in a way that would show Bruce how stupid he found this idea, but at the same time expressed a level of sarcasm so his fellow genius would not be angered or upset by it.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The whole outing was a disaster from the moment they exited the building. While discussing the findings in a recently released medical journal on radiation and it's effects on the human body, a negligent city worker failed to leave any sign up that there were particularly bad ice patches out in various places on the side walk that morning. The pair found this out rather quickly, as one slipped on a thick ice sheet and his frantic clinging and grasping of the other's coat brought him down as well.

Tony rubbed his tail bone, yelling at no one and threatening to sue while Bruce sat there and laughed as their pants became wet from snow. Seeing that the doctor wasn't upset by the situation made Tony calm down. He was more worried that the incident would cause the Other Guy to show up and ruin their outing.

They walked, well limped somewhat, the rest of the way to one of the numerous Starbucks that were in close proximity of the tower and were gracious that there were not as many people occupying the one they chose to go to. Another thing Tony worried about were people. People noticing him and them promptly freaking out about it being him. Because Tony was a celebrity. All the Avengers were celebrities, but Tony had been one for a longer period of time, so people knew his face almost immediately.

He loved the attention, but didn't want Bruce to be subject to screaming fan girls who would rip their tops off in twenty degree weather just for the opportunity to have the illustrious Tony Stark glance in their direction. He didn't think that would go over well.

"Why did you have us sit by the window, Bruce? We have windows at home." Tony groaned, butt still sore from their fall. He asked for a cushion and was waiting impatiently for one of the pimple faced workers to get back to him about it.

Bruce seemed to be fairing much better than his grumpy companion. He merely smiled and gazed out the large, frosty window, "I wanted to watch the snow fall. I know we can do it at home, but it isn't as nice from so far up. It's hard to see when all the buildings are light gray. Down here, it's easier to see." His breath fogged the window some, obstructing part of his view. As Bruce went to raise himself up a bit, Tony used the edge of his scarf to wipe the window off as nonchalantly as possible. The doctor blinked, "Er… thanks, Tony."

"Not a problem." Ironman leaned backwards in his chair and began to sip at his coffee, not noticing the few people beginning to congregate at their window.

Bruce noticed, "That's strange," he murmured, "I wonder what they're staring at."

"Who?"

"The people outside. They have their phones out and everything."

"Maybe they're looking at someone in the café?" Tony shrugged, resuming his beverage intake. He knew what they were staring at. Him. And Bruce. Together. In public. Not that he minded that his company was Bruce, he just didn't want people to think it was a photo op or something to tweet about. _OMFG JUST WALKING ARUOND AND SAW TONY STARK STARBUCKS W/BRUCE BANNER GOTTA GET SUM PICS. _He knew they were fine for the time being, but it did get Tony's guard up, "Just ignore them. If you want, we can leave out the back."

Bruce gave him a quizzical look, "Why would we do that?" Being in a hole for years dulled the doctors ability to read people and social situations. Being with the Avengers and in the public eye was helping with that, but he still had a long way to go before he could instantly realize that the two of them being at Starbucks and then a crowd of people suddenly show up with cameras and shit meant that the people were ogling them and not some unknown person in the same café.

Tony opened his mouth to speak or to at least try and calmly tell Bruce that the people were actually there because of him, but he couldn't get any words out. There was a solid thud, muffled by the fact that it came from outside and against the glass. Ironman could see from his peripheral that two round, tanned mounds of flesh were being pressed against the window and aimed for the side of his head. It was blurry, but he was pretty sure he knew what they were.

"Oh. My. God." Bruce's mouth was slightly agape, unable to believe that one by one, women were throwing up their tops and pressing their bare breasts against the window pane, screeching his and Tony's name, "_ARE YOU SERIOUS! IT'S FIFTEEN DEGREES OUTSIDE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!_" Bruce put his face in his hands, blushing brightly. It had also been a long time since he had seen a naked body of any sort. And he honestly could not recall a time where young [and some old] women were just flinging things at him while screaming out his name like a thirteen year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert. Because a time like that had never happened until right now.

"Welp," Tony stood, "that's our cue to leave." He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and set it on the table with the implication that the change would be kept by the server.

"Leave? There is a harem of insane, topless women outside, Tony. There is no way I am leaving." Although he wanted to, Bruce honestly could not stop staring. He also could tell that 95% of the women had work done to the particular area they were showing off. Some of those things were just too perky to be fully real.

"Do you not want to leave because you are enjoying the harem of insane, topless women outside or because you are afraid of the harem of insane, topless women outside?"

"To be honest… a little of the first and a lot of the second. I'd say its 25-75…"

"Then we'll go through the back." Tony gently grabbed Bruce's arm and moved him towards the back exit.

Bruce hung his head a little in the hopes the blush and bewildered look would leave his face faster, "I'm really sorry about this, Tony."

Tony laughed, "It's alright, Bruce, really. I texted Pep and she has a car waiting for us. We'll be fine."

"When did you text her?"

"While you were staring at all the lovely ladies~"

"Oh… well… g-good thinking then."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They sat together in the front of one of Tony's numerous fancy cars, this one was a red Lamborghini, a very inconspicuous car that was sure to not gather an ounce of attention, but they did not talk for the longest of times. A nice drive around the city was suggested to calm both persons down before returning to the tower. Tony was sure that his assistant was getting a right good laugh out of what happened to them.

Bruce carried the look of a well-beaten dog. It made Tony's heart break. The billionaire reached over and put a hand on the doctors shoulder, giving it a good squeeze, "It was fun, aside from the ice and the naked ladies. It was nice to be able to talk to you outside of the lab."

"You're just saying that."

"Well, yes and no. The ice was not fun. The ladies were awesome. But being with you was the best part of the whole thing. Well, is the best part, since it hasn't stopped." Tony glanced at him for very short periods of time while trying to focus on the road. An accident involving vehicles was not the best way to bring an outing to a close. "And, even if these things happen or some other crazy crap does, I'd really like to go out with you again."

The doctor looked up and smiled for the first time in a least twenty minutes, "I'd like that too, Tony.


End file.
